I had a rough day yesterday. Nothing major was wrong.....nothing really out of an ordinary day, but from 7am on through the evening hours I was a mess.
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed, even by the tiniest of things? Well, that was me. I spent a lot of time putting myself down (in my head) for not being able to accomplish even the slightest of tasks well. I spent most of my day in tears, blubbering tears (yeah...I was really extra ultra hyper sensitive).
The washing machine temporarily decided to blare an alarm at me which I couldn't figure out a. why, and b. how to fix the problem. I called the 888 number on the machine and this was outside of their customer service hours. Preston and I listened to this annoying high-pitched beeeeep beeeeep beeeep for about 20 minutes before the unit went mute and continued flashing but without the sound. lol I also sizzled saran wrap onto a bread loaf pan on the stove by accidentally turning the wrong burner on to boil water (in order to create moisture in a 200 degree oven to help to thaw and rise the frozen bread dough for Preston's lunch). I also received a visit from a Jehovah's Witness. You can imagine how that conversation may have gone with the couple of hours I had already had of the day....I did not answer the door, so this individual proceeded to scare the daylights out of me (and Preston) when he sounded like he was going to break in the door with his hands (turning the door knob aggressively and pushing the door type of sounds). He basically shoved an entire brochure 2/3rds through my front door! Any other day, I probably would have considered talking to him for a minute, but not that day.
Usually, I would find a way to laugh it off; to see the day for what it is (another day that God has allowed me to have). I just couldn't shake this feeling and these thoughts there were pure poison in my mind. I just kept crying over not being able to stop crying....and over how bad of a mom I was, and how bad of a wife, and friend I was....etc.
I spent some time in my Bible and prayed that day, but I probably should have spent even more time doing those things. :-)
I'm feeling great today. Those thoughts and that dark cloud isn't over me today, so I just don't know what that was all about, but I am glad that it is gone. lol
After talking with a friend of mine today, I think it may have just been a combination of stress related to drama in my family, and stress about not being able to get-things-done at home and with the two men in my life (my honey, and my baby boy). I also felt as though I was being attacked in some spiritual way too, like Satan was whispering my inadequacies to me and I was taking it all in you know? Just to be clear here, I didn't hear any voices (how could I...I was crying the whole time. hahahaha). I just felt completely overwhelmed and depressed and who knows...there may have been something evil influencing part of it...
God is good though! I called out to Him for help, and he heard me! :)
Psalm 40 always encourages me (especially the first 3 verses):
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord..."
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed, even by the tiniest of things? Well, that was me. I spent a lot of time putting myself down (in my head) for not being able to accomplish even the slightest of tasks well. I spent most of my day in tears, blubbering tears (yeah...I was really extra ultra hyper sensitive).
The washing machine temporarily decided to blare an alarm at me which I couldn't figure out a. why, and b. how to fix the problem. I called the 888 number on the machine and this was outside of their customer service hours. Preston and I listened to this annoying high-pitched beeeeep beeeeep beeeep for about 20 minutes before the unit went mute and continued flashing but without the sound. lol I also sizzled saran wrap onto a bread loaf pan on the stove by accidentally turning the wrong burner on to boil water (in order to create moisture in a 200 degree oven to help to thaw and rise the frozen bread dough for Preston's lunch). I also received a visit from a Jehovah's Witness. You can imagine how that conversation may have gone with the couple of hours I had already had of the day....I did not answer the door, so this individual proceeded to scare the daylights out of me (and Preston) when he sounded like he was going to break in the door with his hands (turning the door knob aggressively and pushing the door type of sounds). He basically shoved an entire brochure 2/3rds through my front door! Any other day, I probably would have considered talking to him for a minute, but not that day.
Usually, I would find a way to laugh it off; to see the day for what it is (another day that God has allowed me to have). I just couldn't shake this feeling and these thoughts there were pure poison in my mind. I just kept crying over not being able to stop crying....and over how bad of a mom I was, and how bad of a wife, and friend I was....etc.
I spent some time in my Bible and prayed that day, but I probably should have spent even more time doing those things. :-)
I'm feeling great today. Those thoughts and that dark cloud isn't over me today, so I just don't know what that was all about, but I am glad that it is gone. lol
After talking with a friend of mine today, I think it may have just been a combination of stress related to drama in my family, and stress about not being able to get-things-done at home and with the two men in my life (my honey, and my baby boy). I also felt as though I was being attacked in some spiritual way too, like Satan was whispering my inadequacies to me and I was taking it all in you know? Just to be clear here, I didn't hear any voices (how could I...I was crying the whole time. hahahaha). I just felt completely overwhelmed and depressed and who knows...there may have been something evil influencing part of it...
God is good though! I called out to Him for help, and he heard me! :)
Psalm 40 always encourages me (especially the first 3 verses):
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord..."